Well, long time no post I suppose.

So summer's done, I'm back in Ottawa and giving my future some deep thought.

My summer was bad. The only things close to a "vacation" that I ever had was my day trip to Edmonton and my weekend in Vancouver. It was an infuriating trip and I didn't get all that I wanted to get done, done. As well, people aren't willing to tell me things because I'm still deemed too young to be told so everything is a big mess for me still and I'm at an impasse. I would like to rant and talk about it all because so much happened, but I suppose this isn't the place. Or it is, but I don't want to and I don't like to burden people with the weight and heaviness of my life as it is now. I won't bother with that right now.

In terms of classes, things are good but Socio-Anthropology of the family has presented itself with the greatest block ever--I have a research project which I'm not to comfortable doing so I might drop the class. Or discuss other solutions, but if that means interviewing someone else's family...I'm not too keen on that either.

At the moment now, I'm still busy with dad's things and everything's been delayed and people are mad--things are just peachy keen here.

In other news, I'm the proud aunt of a (likely) beautiful healthy baby boy. Brother's told me he has no name yet but that he looks adorable. I might go by there in October for the weekend.

Earlier this evening I even saw a shooting star while I was walking home.

Also, Ariane Moffatt's "Montréal" is quite a nice song.

Back in Calgary July 18th to August 26th

What the title says.



Mhm.

Well, I haven't posted here in forever

I vote we make a mass exodus for Wordpress

But things have been busy, but at the same time fun. I've got a wonderful job as a volunteer at the U-20 World Cup which has been exciting since the first day and it's been keeping my mind off of many things. I've met great co-workers (most of whom are Communications students at Carleton--but no love lost) and had great discussions about the game I have not been playing for nearly 2 and a half years. I haven't even been able to follow soccer for the last year and my favorite player in the Premier league left for La Liga and my favorite club from Serie A just returned from Serie B, my favorite team in Ligue 1 won the title for the 6th time in a row and I don't normally follow Die Bundesliga (though I had a discussion with a FIFA worker and two co-workers about Bayern München's missing the CL for the first time in several years) Of course, the three of them are German so they yabbered off into German for a few minutes about some of the games (I understood, but couldn't answer) which made me realize I should perhaps follow up on German again and brush up on Spanish which are the only two languages I've "dropped" after one semester.

Pah, I'll probably become quintilingual like dad or something (French, English, Japanese, Spanish, German? I think I've already begun to beat down the path to become quintilingual)

PS. The North Koreans are such a loveable bunch and they have fun practice drills. Anyone wanting to amuse their teams, I'll email you an explanation of one of the funnest drills I have ever seen. :D

So I figure I've become one of those wise old people way too early

Wouldn't surprise me in the least. I've got the grey hair part covered--more permanent greys are popping up in the back of my head so I suspect I'll be grey before I'm 30.

I could flood this blog entry with stories of the very terrible visits to the hospital, but I'll save you all the chagrin and terrible woah sad stuff because really, it is sad; I'm not denying it. Lets just say all the visits involved me looking like this: >=| all the time in my oh-so-futile attempt to bottle things up and ending up like this: >='| afterwards. Good thing is, no one has told me I'm lucky to be going back to Calgary and I'm very much ready to blow up at anyone who tells me that, so just a friendly warning.

The visit to Calgary in general? Wasn't fun. Half the time I wanted to go up to something (like a lamp post) and kick it really, really, really hard out of frustration. Luckily I have strong willpower and apparently nerves of steel so no, I did not dent the nearby lamp post nor knock over a small tree. I'll be back again in August, but only again for a short period of time--I'm thinking of taking up invitations and going to Vancouver and Dallas to visit family most likely in order to visit them and yes, shorten my visit/re-exposure to Calgary as much as possible. I'm finding way too many more reasons to hate it every day. That's not a good thing for Calgary.

Oh and the Ottawa phone number I emailed people some months ago? I'm likely cancelling it. No one's ever called it except for three times since we had it set up in September and it's waste of our money.

In other news, I'm an expectant auntie. Baby due in September-ish. A Swedish-Ethio-Trinidadian-Canadian. Wonder what he'll/she'll look like...Expect me to oogle lots about my niece/nephew. I'm alredy restraining myself from oogling and blogging about my 18-month old niece in Dallas. It's quite difficult.

Ovewhelmed? I most certainly am not!

Or really I am.

I've got a busy day tomorrow and I still have to fill in lots of forms that I should do in preparation for the meeting with the lawyer and I have a dentist appointment too.

Oh and updates for those who care, dad's still got short term memory loss, is confused, disoriented and is still in hospital and is on a waiting list for transitional hospital and a long term care facility. I'm talking with lawyers and a social worker. At this rate, I'll be poor before 3 year.

Oh joy, oh bliss how I love Calgary so! Methinks I should update my profile saying that I'm actually 35 and not 19. :O


And listening to orchestral music on my laptop really, really, really, really loud does wonders.

I'll be in Calgary June 1st to June 12th

I'll get into Calgary at like, 1pm and as soon as I get home I'll be hopping on a bus to the grocery as there is nothing (well, in a way yeah) to eat in the house. (assuming the guys at CT are going to not strike? I hear they're playing the people like mad over there and keeping people on pins and needles on the matter)

So, assuming CT doesn't go on strike, my first order of business is to get food. But yeah, if they go on strike I suppose I'll do like I did in Lyon and walk, walk, walk which will be painful. I'd love to drive buuuut: a) I only have a learners and b) What car?

:)

Going to be in Calgary sometime this week

After suffering through jetlag, witnessing an Algerian get beaten to the ground while his wife and 3-yr old son watched on crying while hundreds of travellers and their children watched on, by the Gendarmerie at the airport and getting kicked in the gut by life, I will be hopping on a plane sometime this week.

Haven't bought the ticket yet but I'll be in Calgary I'm thinking until the 12th at the latest as I have training from FIFA on the 13th.

Not too keen to spend (what I think will be) 900$ for a one and a half-week trip. Why can't we just have the TGV? Seriously. I'm pretty sure I'd only end up spending...300$ or something even at the last minute.

Please, when I get to Calgary, everyone book up all my free days with unnecessary go-to-café time. I don't want to deal with any of this at all right now. (You'll see me again in August) Seriously, what summer break?

I also have a strange desire for croissant with jam, yoghurt and juice for breakfast.

Back in Canada

After having dealt with the evil and mean incarnate that is the Customs office after having forgotten to pick up my second bag. (I got to evil eye from this one woman; the AF lady who got my bag was so, so nice though) I am back.

I had the best last two days of my trip ever though, when I went to the Olympique Lyonnais café and watched their final game of the season there--alone, duh-- against Nantes which they won 3-1. Greatest experience ever, though the next bit beats it by a 1000 miles.

There were celebrations held in Place des Terraux, a square located in front of City Hall beside the Fine Arts museum. Realizing I couldn't stay for long, I walked to the other side of City Hall to catch the metro back (later learning that metro service was extended until 1:30am) and noticed the back side was barricaded and remembered that the players were coming with the Ligue 1 trophy they'd won for the 6th time in a row in a while. So we waited in the rain for 2hrs (I had a lovely chat with an elderly lady) and after listening to brazillian music, a brass quartet play a marching version of Samba (by Bond) and city officials walk into the building, we saw the players' bus slowly pull in.

Then, we could see the trophy (my lord is it big) and Gerard Houllier the coach, who announced his retirement the day before the match, with it. Then one by one, the players got off and it was something. Never seen professional athletes that close before from a sport I've played for 10 years. Ever. I saw Cris, Malouda (who got a loud cheer for his two goals--he like poked his head out curiously and then waved), Juninho (!), Govou, Diarra, Squillaci, Wiltord, Abidal (!!), Toulalan, Caçapa who was retiring had helped the club win the 6 titles, Fred (I think), a bunch of other players and finally Coupet whom everyone cheered for big time.

The match was partly delayed because some fans had lit flares (which are, btw, banned I might add) and the wind was going down towards the field so the whole field was engulfed in smoke for a bit. They resumed the match and at the end during the presentation of the trophy, fans ran onto the field and the stage where the players were, the fans were being held back by a human wall about 6-7ft away. It was such an experience to actually see the players get off the bus and such. I was so happy that I cried on my way back to the residence.

After all that I had to miss the players going ontop of the balcony on the front of the City Hall with the trophy and catch the metro home as I had to transfer lines.

So now I'm back, jetlagged and got a lovely swift hit in the gut by life reminding that now I am no longer on vacation and must deal with everything that I had put (on purpose, duh) on the backburner.

In other news, I may unwillingly be forced back to Calgary very soon as many people who want my monnies and want to burden me with complicated information to help dad request my presence and note that it is imperative I be there. However, due to volunteering commitments at the World Cup in the host city I chose (Ottawa) I can't be there long....actually, I might only be there for less than a week as I believe I have mandatory training from FIFA (silly FIFA...) on the 17th...oh well, if I'm going, I guess it'll have to be soon then.

I'm here in Lyon, alive after one week (barring the crazy homeless and sketchy types on our side streets), homesick and mlehh.

Oh and hating my FLS homework. I could definitely do without a good deal of the assignments we have. (I'm working on the vocab which is taking a while since she, the prof from the UofO with us, wants a whole bunch of specifics and such and it's a bit too much what with all the other assignments she's given us and the big three projects we have for the Lyon II professors)

So far, my French has died more times than I'm comfortable with, I go out on my own (sometimes go out with others but not really), have been followed by homeless types, gotten into "Montreal isn't the dirtiest city on Earth and Ottawa isn't the cleanest and has more homeless people wandering about downtown than you can count" debates with one person (didn't really escalate but she's anti-Montreal and I ended it there and then--she refused to tell me what she found made Montreal dirty), have had deep conversations with women in their late-60s about childhood, walked more than I ever have in a single day, explored the métro and tramway system, procrastinated (though not really), been homesick, scared, somewhat overwhelmed with brief periods of emo and have been near more Olympique Lyonnais soccer merchandise than you can shake a stick at (might be getting a long-sleeved t-shirt)

Oh and have seen the word: (forgive me for using it but oh well) nègre twice. One as graffiti on some guy's car, and another time today at a mall as part of the name of a café.

And through all of this, I forgot it was Mother's Day yesterday. But that's okay, May is a month filled with terrible days I wish never happened the way they had. Second worst month after December with November and January in tow. Notably grad.

At risk of this degenerating into an angsty post, Lyon has been great so far. Some people are nice, and some aren't. I've found stores that I want to go to again, but have to pay in cash as my card doesn't work (or I haven't found stores that I would go to that accept Cirrus/Maestro cards). Professors at Lyon II are amazing so far, FLS prof from the UofO, not so much.

At the end of this week, I'm going to Paris for the weekend. Should be fun.

Back to 20-word vocabulary list with quoted sentences, specific contexts, definitions and conjugations if they're verbs that was due on Sunday for FLS

oh hey, 301 posts

With the way things have been going as of late and the billion decisions I have to take and things that are popping up, I'm very surprised I didn't just drop everything and take a leave of absence from University.

Luckily I have my super-experienced psychotherapist aunt to question the Social Worker and translate everything going on into simple English. Because frankly, I cannot make decisions. She also has experience in this matter and shall be questioning the doctor/nurse about tests that have (or likely haven't as it seems to be--seriously, a black man in a white hospital with no one to advocate for him. Do you think they'll be pulling out all stops to make sure he gets the best care? Asks me, who is le frazzled) been done.

However, this doesn't help me finish my essay due later today to be handed in between 12:00 and 1:30pm that I only have a quarter finished. Actually, barely a page has been started.

For those even remotely curious who number in only 1 here (2 elsewhere) about what's going on, dad's condition seems non-changing and he'll be off to a long-term care facility and will be there for the foreseeable future.

Actually, you know what, I'll give out more details even though no one has been asking for them;

He's suffering from short term memory loss that's been going on since he regained proper consciousness in February along with possible other medical stuff I don't know of. He doesn't remember who some people are and thinks that some people are other people. For example, he mistook someone's daughter (3 years younger) as being me.

He's extremely confused and has no sense of time and still thinks that I'm in Calgary regardless of the number of times I've told him along with others. He also can't talk coherently sometimes and slips into Amharic lots.

In other words,

For the forseable future, I don't think he'll go back to the way he was before all of this happened in December. I want to deny it and think that all will go back to the way it was but I can't see that happening unless the liquid in his brain gets reabsorbed (or something my aunt mentioned) and he's back to normal within the month.

I wish my niece could've met dad before all this--she would've had the greatest and funnest grandad ever. She'd've been spoiled silly and treated to so many things by him.

I still have to tell others what's happened to him. His former co-workers know nothing, some in Montréal know but none of mum's friends yet.

You know, it's almost like I'm really 40+ but I'm trapped in the body of a 20-yr old.

Also, a message to the general 'all of you',
Next person to tell me "I'm lucky" to go back to Calgary will get a very long talk. I never liked it there and I never ever want to go back. Try to tell me otherwise, and you will get an even longer talk.

And yes, this was my emo-angry post. Hurrah. If only I could type essays out this fast, I'd be set for bed right about now.

My soccer bag sits in my closet doing nothing...

Oh wow...did I not use my soccer stuff nor play soccer. I have put on my gloves in the hopes that I would go.

And here I am about to submit a volunteer form to volunteer at the FIFA U-20 World Cup of Soccer. Oh well, I still love the sport and I still want to play; maybe there'll be a chance to play pickup on campus in front of Tabaret. :o

Hm.

oh, ko'd again

hm.

Now if it weren't 8:46, I'd think of an excuse to go and walk about in the rain with my umbrella. But I'm tired and I want to go to Michaels and splurge on t-shirts, pencil crayons, drawing paper and other such art supplies as there's a 40% off sale I'd like to go take advantage of.

Other than that,

ouch.

Life ko'ed me again. Always fun.

Oh dear, English essay is about semi-started (finally). It's on the topic of violence in soccer and my intro isn't too bad D:. I'm hoping that I'll be able to have it done with quotes and sources and such by tomorrow night or Monday morning so that I can go over to a friend's place to watch Doctor Who later in the afternoon.

And while I'm here at the library typing, being distracted etc., I think I seem to have developped a cold. My throat feels funny and my nose is a bit sniffly. (Rats...I was doing so good this semester too...save for that week where I had a migraine every evening--but still!) I'm not liking that I've been starting to feel relaxed despite the fact that I have an essay to do. (Or maybe that's due in part to the fact that I'm possibly becoming sick; waking up has been harder to do than usual...)

Oh well, thanks to Mike's post, I've re-found the Star Académie song "Et c'est pas fini" that I lost from when I had unexpectedly reformatted my laptop back in September and as a result, created a French music playlist and am listening to it.

Back to work I suppose.

Life just delivered me an upper-cut.

Ow. :X

If some words could describe how I feel...

...it would be:

TABARNAC!!

Honestly, I'm going nuts and have become the hated yet again. (Well, it's not like the "renewed" friendship was going to last; I found it way too suspicious to begin with coming from those people) Wheee life is fun. Crazy and fun. Fun, crazy, and mind-numbingly stressful and worrysomly fun and crazier than I ever thought it was. Yay.

Of course, this is all due to the fact that I've been stuffing all the current issues popping up like weeds with my dad's health and care on the back burner for the last month while I attempt to keep a straight face and work throughout this semester.

You know, if I wasn't a peaceful, non-argumentative person I would've given too many people a piece of my mind and perhaps would've stood up for myself and not let myself get walked all over like I did in some classes. I probably would've also mentioned to some people I work with what's going on so they can understand my "tardiness" and my lacking in the finishing parts of projects promptly department as of late.

But no, I can't bring myself to hurt or yell at anyone.(which is a nice quality to have admittedly--I've done enough yelling to last a century) I have a presentation tomorrow and I feel asdfghjkl and then some. It's not helping that I might send an email that might land me even more on some peoples' bad sides. Crazy stuff, life.

Humdeedoo.

I suppose the good thing is, I have Lyon to look forward to in a month and I may never see these persons again or work with them for the next 3 years (unless we land in the same classes which would be likely considering my minor)

I need a weekend in Montréal. Stat.

It should be noted that that ADQ is not a federalist party; it's actually nationalist. Not as "Rah rah vive le separatisme!" as the PQ, but still pretty nationalist in the sense that one of their platforms is that Quebec become the Autonomous State of Québec. (Not to mention conservative--look! ally for harper DDD:!)

I'm still quite annoyed that Harper butt his nose in and I know he did it on purpose. In Québec, any politician seen getting too cozy with the PM is almost effectively shunned by the voters. Most of the seats the PLQ lost were the ADQ's gains. And most of the PQ's loss were the ADQ's gains.

Funny. Hm. A probably combination of 'Yar, we're annoyed with the PQ" and 'Woah, Charest is getting too close with the PM/Charest didn't keep much of his promises' ultimately may have caused this maybe

/random

updates:

To those concerned, dad is still in hospital and I feel like a dolt for having not called him for his birthday on friday. He still thinks I'm in Calgary.

In other news, I need higher than a B+ in all my courses to raise my CGPA past 5.0 to squeak into a Communication Minor. Hmm...

In other news, I've noticed how much drastically distant many "friendships" I had coming here have become and how many "friendships" I had beforehand. Oh well, it had to happen. After an enlightening discussion with my aunt about getting hung to dry/left out/ditched almost every other day in High School, I realized that I should've noticed the signs and taken them seriously. (And concluded that, invariably and almost as much as Jr High, High School was a horrid, dingy and an outright disgusting if not terrible experience. And in comparison to Jr High, that's something. Note: I'm not being emo or angsting, this is me being brutally honest.)

In other news, after going missing this afternoon at a transitway station, my cellphone has been found and is in the hands of a kind Gatinoise who phoned my brother. I should change the greeting to "If found, plz ph 613XXXXX".

Finally, Dionne Warrick is brilliant.

PS. ADQ, a right-of-centre party, gets 36 new seats after having 5 to begin with in 2003 (and only 1 when they first started). Granted, this was a protest vote in all forms...this is perhaps a sign of things to come. Ah well...I'm liking this possibility of no more referendums for some more years to come. 1995 was scary. No repeats plz.

Still shocked? Quite.

I got accepted to participate in the one-month exchange in Lyon, France yesterday! Never been overseas before. Ever. It's shocking. (This summer I might possibly be headed to Dallas--brother down there has invited me [as has the one from LA, and BC])

All the life-drama I've been dealing with aside, (and it's staggering. woe.) this is incredible. Today, I went to two different Chapters after writing my psych midterm to look at travelers' guides about France (there were few about the Rhônes-Alpes Region or Lyon.) and felt really amused and giddy. I think tomorrow if I could I would sit down for a bit and read some stuff on France, might even buy one for kicks. :D

(This still doesn't rule out going to France on a 1 year exchange though in the future, I'm still wanting to do that.)

I almost forgot that I had a psychology midterm today in light of having found out about it. lol

EDIT Apparently Lyon is the headquarters for Interpol. Ohoho

Sarah Brightman's Figlio Perduto from her album La Luna is very nice. I advise you all give it a listen.

So, it's been 7 months...

And granted mark wise, the first semester was a complete bomb-drop and my second semester being critical to my not being probated, I for some odd reason don't feel like I should be here.

Don't get me wrong, I love my auntie M to bits, I like living here. She makes the greatest food and we bake--She's awesome, my cousin (1st) and his girlfriend tell me what a knowledgeable person she is and how when growing up, they wish they had her to help guide them. Hell, I've had mum's friends tell me similar and my half-brother in BC who's never met her. And she's knowledgeable in her field--held a top (permanent) position at the UofO for YEARS, done all sorts of work in the field of psychology, all the workshops students in all fields paid to attend and that she hosted, all the people she's baffled and impressed and all the barriers she overcame (discrimination and racism namely throughout Canada--my whole family endured it.) to get where she got to; it's insane.

I'll be honest, and don't all of you in Ottawa take it the wrong way, but I came out East to not only try to get as close enough back to Montréal, I wanted to start anew and without anyone from Calgary. I wanted to make new friends (or try) and just forget what happened in Calgary--the crap, the deaths, the never-ending stresses and anxieties that city gives me non-stop (don't tell me otherwise) the drama, grad (and especially grad). I'm sure others whom we didn't expect to see here were half-hoping the same way.

I honestly didn't think that over a good chunk of the graduating class wanted to leave (excluding those who won scholarships). Thought (my moment d'ignorance) that most would've stayed, but apparently (and I've spoken with two alumni from Calgary both in 4th year here) this year is the most that either have seen/heard of students from Alberta making a mass exodus for other universities outside the province.

I'm going to give staying here some deep deep thought. Maybe I'll stay all the way to 4th year. Who knows. I've found that I have had a hard time keeping up with the demand of university--all the homework, the papers, the readings...it seems everyone else is taking it in stride (Unless some are lying which is entirely possible; People tend to wear a different mask all the time when around certain people...learned that from a SOC 1501 lecture). Well, I'm definitely not. And I won't lie about it--I've done good on my papers and essays (usually getting a B or C) and failed one midterm while barely passing another. That's better than last semester. I'm not at all caught up on my readings either.

As for the alternative university? Concordia or, if it's even possible (which I doubt), McGill.

I think I haven't gotten proper sleep since August. I fall asleep now at 3 or 4am now, wake up at 10 or don't get out of bed until 1pm. This is all thanks of course to poor time management, starting things at the last minute, jetlag and this new daylight savings time thing.

Anyways, I'm going to work on bringing my CGPA to a B so that I can go to France on exchange for a year. I just need somewhere new and be "on my own" in the sense that I can honestly look at myself and say "I've gone my own way, not following anyone and no one's following me". I've got a tendency to wait for others' "permission" before I do things on my own--like this year's Youth World Cup. I want to go, but I'm basing my decision on whether or not others go---I hate that.

Speaking of France, there's Lyon. Oh, I grinned like a fool when I got the email announcing that there was a 1-month exchange planned. I would love to go to Lyon this summer. I would. We'll see how that goes.

And yes, as you read earlier, I am close to being probated if I don't do well this semester. Not a lot know this, my aunt does, my brother suspects...and you lot know. Family friends in Montréal don't know for a very good reason. Granted I didn't enter university with this mindset, whoever claimed you had more freedom, could do whatever you wanted, and/or (usually and) that university was easy and all you had to do wasn't much but read, do the homework etc. should be, without shame, be hit over the head. Oh the lies I hear from people. It makes me cringe inside and want to shake my head.

Then again, thinking about the probation...I nearly failed grade 8 and 9. There was good reason though, but still all the below 50% marks and marks in the 40%s are on my final report card for grade 8. Failed some classes in High School too. Got yelled at by a member of administration in plain view of other co-workers and a guidance counsellor. So, in an odd way, I've been down this road before.

Finally, I don't think there's anything different from how things were in Calgary. I mean, personal habits haven't changed. I stay home on Saturdays and weekends and try and do homework (which never happens)--maybe go out to South Keys and bum around Michaels and think of what to spend my 40% coupon on once in a while, or hole myself in the library, but nothing different from in Calgary. I mean, for one, I still know that I'll still have a liver when I'm older thank goodness.

Anyway, I'm not being emo I don't think. Just thoughtful and pensive (and I suppose truthful? If you can call it that?) of the way things are at the moment.

SO what am I doing?

Aside being double owned by all things bad in life, I'm attempting to write a letter of in intent to say why I (moi) should be chosen as one of the 20 in the Immersion programme to go on a month-long exchange to Lyon, France at the Université de Lumière Lyon II.

First off, let's make it clear that I have never written a letter of intent, nor was I ever taught how to write such a thing, nor do I really know how to or what the structure for one is. But that's alright, I've walked blindly into the face of danger before and I'm still walking about (walking into the occasional door frame or pole...but I digress)

Second, all the erasers on my pencils are kaputt, gone, dead or dying.

Third, Heroes has become my source of creativity for art. Hurrah. But since none of you watch it*, you have no idea what I speak of. Nada.

Creepy fact du jour: All the candidates for the PLQ all have their fist under their chins on their campaign posters.

What's worse, is that the PQ has adopted green-blue-white as a part of their campaign posters as opposed to the usual red-blue-white. It kills the eyes.

And, apparently there has been talk of Quebec separation of its regions during the election campaign. Ahhh.

Hmm. *goes back to working on LoI*

Funny how life works. I can't seem to get myself to worry properly over things or get genuinely concerned these days. It's a strange mentality I have, a "no need to worry, things'll get done soon" type mentality.

Anyway, vagueness aside, I'm back here in Calgary now and have been for a few days, severely jetlagged, hating the air, hating transit (30min wait for a bus? what? It's 5-7 minutes and 10-15 minutes for most routes in Ottawa, a city with less population than Calgary) wishing certain chain of events had never happened, hating hospitals (which is leaving the family generally unimpressed I suppose?), adoring Yann Thiersen music (Amélie, Goodbye Lenin) etc. etc. As much as I like seeing people again, I just don't like coming back to the city at all and I don't think I ever will.

In other news, Radio-Canada and RDI have been repeating the election announcements for the Québec elections non-stop. I've seen Dumont's face too many times to count.

To finish, I must say that Life on Mars is quite possibly the most brilliant, amazing and most craziest show I have ever seen from the BBC. I would recommend it to everyone, but not everyone would watch. Tant pis. *shrug*

The live remake of The Quatermass Experiment (2005) is scary. Scary, scary. But for being filmed and broadcast live it's of an amazing quality--a few audio gaffes here and there but I suppose the actors' nervousness of a live-on-tv (think live newscasts) and the way it was filmed helped convey the crazy scaryness of Quatermass a lot better.

Oh and Calgary proved to me that within the general populace, there are *some* very nice people left. My MP3 player fell right out of my pocket and down in between the train and the platform downtown down to the tracks and I was like "Damned..." when a fellow right beside me, after the train had left, offered to pick it up before the next train came (which was a block away) and without waiting for a proper answer from me (Granted I'd told him that he didn't have to), jumped down and picked it up and gave it back to me. He then declared to me as we got on the next train that that was the best job he'd done all year. :)

Granted my sleep schedule is gone until further notice, I'm enjoying the news that short naps in the middle of the day are beneficial to one's health. Anyone think I could rebalance my circadian rhythms (aka internal clock) on a four-hour flight by sleeping? I'm on a night flight.

Made another fun deal: found a pair of leather boots for 18$ on clearance/sale at the Bay.(And it was the only pair of non-disgustingly-tall-heeled boots in my size) I am suddenly craving bagels from St. Viateur...I wonder if there's one in the Trudeau Dorval airport...I like bagels...Montréal style bagels, toasted. Cinnamon raisin's a favorite since childhood...oh and Mtl style smoked meat sandwiches on thick slices of whole wheat bread with a side of fries and a tall glass of ginger ale---Don't worry, I'll get lunch on my way to psychology *laughs*

Fun thing: I figured that going back into my routine of listening to various French songs helps keep my accent from dying. That and sleep.

Soccer memories

So, curiously browsing along the new CMSA site at this crazy hour and I went into the archives and was surprised by the fact that they were actually still archiving. (Actually, what surprised me most was that they were archiving.)

I'm sitting here, looking at all our scores from all the games where I was in net (which was, all of them...save one where I was sick). Oh and the 'seeding' basically is where we play games that determine our division. We collectively agreed as a team (I think) to stay in Div 3. During my first season, we came 3rd in our division :D. The team moved to the women's league after that but I know a bunch asked me to come but I'm out here sooo....crap, inner voice says "JOIN THE OTTAWA SOCCER LEAGUE YA NIMWAD". Huh. (PS. Our team was Hamptons--I still have the funky royal blue socks with me. Hahaha...)

Oh and we so pwned a Blizzard team. It was a delightfully awesome because they could've tied us had I not like stopped this shot...don't remember how it happened but everyone went "OH!!!" everytime I stopped it. It was in the dying minutes too. (So by this logic, I meant that I made good saves that people thought would've gone in. I know, it's great logic.)


Take a look at my first season *lol*

Stupid Eastside...half their team wanted to kill us. Or rather, had a judge/investigator-type been there, they would've dubbed it "attempted murder". I remember every stop I made one of them would almost curse loudly Plus there was a really not-so-friendly Chinese ref and since I knew NONE of the rules of indoor GK'ing, he gave me a hard time. This was my first game, btw

Oh our only game against Foothills was tough. I definitely remember that. It was one of those games where it depended on who faulted first and uh--it was us. We had so many shots on them but their GK was unbelieveable.

5 wins 2 losses in the playoffs. Zing.

My coach kept getting my name wrong and er, it carried onto the Roster list. *laughs*

OK! End of ego-boosting post...I should be in bed. Asleep.

Updates?

RE: Conservative's attack ads

Never has the MUTE button had a more greater use than today. Seriously, whoever invented it, needs some sort of prize.

Er, other than that?

Stresssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. Along with slightly out of whack circadian rhythms and such.


And that about sums it up. Good times, good times all around. :D

I'll try and wake up early enough to go play soccer tomorrow morning

taking an unecessary break from this paper...

Er, Harper, your new ads against Dion? Already getting old. (And it's barely been a day!)


Especially when three air within the same timeblock almost every commercial break. (with two airing barely a minute apart in the same commercial break) My aunt and I like watching our TV without having to watch terribly made commercials.

I'd like to know how much these cost. I mean, it costs alot to buy commercial time and if you've paid for time to air it three times, you're obviously spending...alot.

PS. the last Conservative who pulled this stunt by attacking a Liberal leader via attack ads, the whole thing blew up in their face. (But that was based on ignorance of how Chrétien had had Polio)

PPS. I see you're emulating the US now with personal attack commercials...What next? attack Layton's lack of hair?

PPPS. 22 Minutes and Air Farce shall be having a field day mocking these ads like they did the Liberal "HARPER HAS PET DRAGONS!!! DDD:!!" spoofs last year.

PPPPS. I think you guys just gave CBS extra viewers for the Superbowl too.

Prof F-P Gingras and his Guide de rédaction de travaux universitaires (there's an english version too) is my hero.

Stupidity should note that this would've been handy had certain professors last semester noted it's existance

Bugger.

I'm having difficulty reading this chapter for History of Canada for a critical review due Monday evening. Granted, I'm learning tons about 'ancient Canada' and 17-18th century Canada in addition to remembering material and facts long believed to be forgotten from Jr High. (Did you guys know that Christopher Colombus was a total bastard, forgive mon français, going about semi-dellusional-like thinking that the Arawaks in Jamaica/Haiti had gold mines and chopping the hands off of the ones who didn't meet the "Gold Excavation" quota for the day eventually slaving them all into extinction?---Granted that's not a totally clear explanation...) but I cannot for the life of me want to critique how these authors wrote and explained vis à vis their POVs the era from 1604 to 1763. I would gladly go to 1945 to Today but "Today" stops at 1994 right when the PQ were elected and also, that chapter has over a 110 pages compared to other chapters which have 60 pages or so.

Mind, 1604-1763 is the foundings of Quebec City (1608--400th annivesary next year!), Ville-Marie (aka Montréal 1642), the seigneuries, fun French absolute monarchies, the 7-year-war, the Filles du Roi, the fall of Nouvelle-France to the English. It's interesting but my god, I'm avoiding their little blurbs on the sides because they always end them with useless questions and critiquing this is proving difficult...especially since I have not bought the coursepack which contains a Guide de Rédaction des Résumés Critiques. I have one from a lecture where she outlined (brief) steps, short and not detailed and usually if I have a guide, I for some reason, need it to be detailed completely or my mind goes: "AWIHOAW!" and I end up getting unnecessarily frustrated and NOTHING gets done.

Instead, however, of finishing reading all of this (as easy to read as it sounds--it is. Just, you have to get me in a willing mood to read it (hey, now I feel a bit in the mood. I've got three units in the chapter left to read) I be knitting.(Plus the critical review is 4-5 pages double spaced about 2 1/2-3 pages single I suspect).

Also, aunt baked gingerbread cookies. But also, I am reading and knitting.

Thoughts....

It seems whenever I'm going back to Calgary I think to myself "Buh, Calgary. It's terrible, grim, and is almost synonymous with monotony" and whenever I go back, I think something bad will happen. And it usually does. Prime example? Earlier in late-December. Bah-zing-bing-ding. One month later, he's still in hospital. Unfortunately, it's a thought I can't really shake when it comes to Calgary. In my mind, it has almost (or probably has to me) become synonymous with just all around bad.

Oh well. It's my duty as the daughter to go visit their parent when they are ill and injured like this. I would like to give a piece of my mind to some of my siblings and tell them to just take a day of their vacation leave and come. But I don't know how their jobs work or anything so I don't know if they can take that. That and, well, we're all half-siblings and some of us (myself excluded) have not seen him in 20-30 years perhaps (in the case of my sister in Montréal) never have seen him. Then there's the three or four who are currently in Ethiopia and as much as I'm sure they'd love to experience a Canadian winter, I don't see them coming anytime soon.

Speaking of people not seeing their dads in 30 years, still haven't called my sister. Brother in BC feels uncomfortable doing the phone call and so it's kind of up to me to call. Funny, at one point, I was determined last year to get in touch with her.

And I figured out why my sleep has gone WOOSH. *mock Bill Nye* Stressssss. Yes, yes, I know it's almost 3:30am.

Also, Starbucks makes the worst hot chocolate and apple cider. Seriously, they used to make really, really really good apple cider and their hot chocolate makes me feel ill. Cheers to Second Cup.

And, I bought this funky new brush-pen. I like it. Doodling is not helping me sleep though. Nor is knitting :( (though, I bought this nice yarn--I have too much yarn though...uh-oh)

so, yes, i will (unfortunately) be in calgary

I'm arriving Feb 18th until the 26th. Again, it's really not for vacation. I suspect I will be taking care of dad and such. Assuming he's back by then. Maybe I'll be lucky and I'll get some help from my brothers, if they can get time off. All three of them work full-time.

Yay, first Reading Week being spent taking care of a family member. Should be grand. Oh crap, there'll be no food in the house. Shoot. and possibly food that should be thrown out Airport food to the rescue! (and aunty's baking!)

edit nevermind. If memory serves, I actually never got a chance to go and buy any food while I was there because, shock, life happened. Life likes to happen to me a lot these days. >:U

waugh, can't sleep.

Sitting about, my sleep schedule basically shot since late-December and listening to the Amélie OST, I wonder...actually, I don't wonder. I tried and pulled up a blank trying to wonder what I was wondering about. Nevermind.

When I have trouble sleeping, I should doodle or something...There's an idea :D (Or there's that Charlie Brown book I bought in October that I haven't read yet. That'd be a mistake to read at this hour)

And I might be back in Calgary for Reading Week. Not for relaxation, though.

As a méthode d'inspiration I'm going to put up my panoramic poster of the Paris skyline that I bought back in September up on the wall in front of me on my desk. (As much as I love the mint-green my aunt used, it gets a little boring looking up from my laptop screen and seeing...mint-green. Aunt agrees) I'm going to Paris, France on exchange for a year at one of the UdeP universities and nothing is going to stop me. (Paris, Marseille or Strasbourg. But mainly Paris)

/end random moment of determination

My cousin, is basically my favorite relative ever. My cousin is awesome. Also, the ability to look 20-30 yrs younger when you're actually in your 40s or 60s gene definately runs in my family. I thought my cousin was 20-something. He's not. He's not in his 30s either. He's in hs 40s and looks 20-something. Serious. Mind, people think my dad is 40-something when he's almost going to be 70 and I had people comment asking me in gr 10 if my brother in BC was my boyfriend when he's...in his early 30s after he dropped off one time.

I think I'll be in Gatineau more often to visit him (Gatineau meaning not the Hull that became Gatineau. Hull is right beside it in the distance where Place du Portage is). Awesome thing is that OC Transpo buspass can definately be used on STO buses. Wow, this semester pass really is worth it's 216$. I'm paying for an excellent-quality service (Monthly passes are 58$--fare is 3$ for local, 4$ for Express and 5$ for rural express--yes rural. think a public bus going to Cochrane or Airdrie or other towns to Calgary. There are buses that are regular fare that go to Stittsville. That's far. Cheaper if you have the little tickets which for local is 1.80$ or 2 tickets or something, express 3 or 4 tickets and rural, 5 tickets) Haven't seen him or my other first-cousin in a while.

Plus, he gave me his old scanner, save, I don't know if it works. There's no light to tell me if it's on and my computer isn't picking up the USB connection it looks like. (Though I did get a "There has been a problem installing the software" in the bottom so I might manually download it)

For my diagnostic for ENG1120, I'll be writing a short review on Bon Cop, Bad Cop. Go me. :)

Also, Roméo et Juliette: De la haine à l'amour has wonderful music. Like Vérone or Les Rois du monde or La Haine.

stressed? nah. nahh.

I dub my Fridays, "English Fridays" as I have figured out that I have both ENG1100 and ENG 1120 6 hours apart on Fridays. And today in Canadian history we finally got to the 16th century with Jacques Cartier. (To which the class let out a tired enthusiastic "Hourrah!") I had to make a comic about his travels (w/Moe) back in elementary. It was an awesome comic (helped me somehow remember that big important chunk of history). Donnaconna, should not have let Cartier kidnap his kids! And Cartier! Snubbing the Amerindians is bad! That's why you all got scurvy! D: (erm, don't ask)

PS. Christopher Coloumbus was an awful person.

And I discovered a lovely musical. French, even-- Roméo et Juliette. First started hearing music on Rock Détente 94,9 (with Aimer) and I heard one song twice and loved it and could not find it. So today I randomly downloaded songs from the musical and I'm listening to a bunch when the one I could not find for ages comes on--Les rois du monde. (Aimer I had never heard before, randomly downloaded it and the voices sounded the same as the previously unknown song) The music? Very, very good. No, amazing.

Recommendations:
Listen to Yannick Noah's "parody" of La Marseillaise on the environnement and climat change and politics. (Aux Arbres Citoyens) The parody is that some lines sound similar to the anthem but are altered (like "aux arbres citoyens", which is the begining of the anthem's chorus which goes "aux armes citoyens!") but musically, it's not the same.

Then, watch the video:



I think if I can find Yannick Noah's newest CD Charango (but he's from France, I'd have to go to Hull or Montréal to find it) and Stefie Shock's Les Vendredis, I'll be relatively happy.

Re: stressed?
Hahahaha...Raspberry ginger ale keeps your mind off a lot of things.

So, while reading the Canadian Desk Companion, I concluded the following:

Saskatchewan has the best name for a city/town/settlement ever.

I present:

Uranium City, SK.

I guess if you're from there, you're a Uranian. But what happens when we find a way to live on Uranus?

wow, even eldest brother agrees

That all 8 or so plus of us have all done poorly in the maintaining communication department. So, eldest brother is quite interesting. He's in IT in Dallas (dad said Houston...pshh) and he has a 15-month-old daughter (my niece!) who has a cute name and by default, though I have yet to meet her, must be cute.

That was strange.

Anyways, next task for me:

I'm going to phone up the sister in Montréal whom I just found out was barred from being in communication, or seeing dad for all her life by her mum. She doesn't know him and I don't know why. If you guys want to speculate do whatever you want, I won't be able to answer any questions since I virtually know nothing.

Oh what an awkward phone call this shall be...

A bit silly though that we 'mobilize' only when dad is dreadully ill or critically injured like this.

In other news, I have a shiny new pair of indoor soccer shoes, plus shorts because my BRIGHT VIVID royal blue ones are only good with a white jersey or blue one but since I wore none of those but a bright orange long-sleeve jersey (I wore an old pair of navy track pants that later got duct taped at the knees and said duct tape fused with my pants due to heat caused by friction against the evil incarnate and every indoor sports player's archnemesis that is Astro Turf), my t-shirts that I would wear wouldn't work. Plus I'm not used to playing goalie in a t-shirt. In all due honesty, I feel slightly bare not wearing a long-sleeved shirt with pads at the elbows.

In other news that would make sense of the previous paragraph, I discovered there's drop-in recreational soccer on Mondays.

*insert sad face here :(*

So, I have concluded that it is possible that people wanting to register for intramural soccer must line up at 8am the earliest. Got there with Robert at near noon-ish, were told that soccer was completely filled as of 10-11ish. :(

I'll be stalking the field in front of Tabaret with my "gloves in tow" for pick up games when the weather gets better.

So then to pass the time, I got kidnapped to watch recreational badminton and met a lovely exchange student from France and we chatted. She was determined to improve her English and she was so curious and amazed with Canada. (Franco-Algerian) We talked about French, Canada, France, soccer, Zidane etc. It was fun.


And someone told me I have a France-French accent. Buhwah? Interesting that.

And I'm still confused as how I won an award for academic excellence at ABE. I have never gotten an end-of-year average above 75%. Never. The highest marks I ever got were in Band and that one time in Math 20 where I at one point had an 82% but finished with a 78 or 79. Still, I'm in "Er, I believe that this is a mistake" mode right now.

Yes, yes, contrary to popular belief I was never an 80s student, I failed three courses in high school and got yelled at by one of the assisstant principals while her office door was open and I was in her office. Oh and I was constantly paged to her office and guidance in grade 12...I forgot why though...Hm.

In other news, oldest brother from Texas will call later tonight. This, shall be weird. I don't know what he sounds like, looks like or anything really save for he's the oldest of us.

Weiiiiiiird.

I'm a very descriptive person. *nods sagely*

I'm asked "How are you feeling?". I respond: "Aghbleh and meh...buh".

When asked to elaborate, I respond with: "Mrrgh. And generally Augh". Descriptive I am. Haha...

So tomorrow, I'm braving the long lineups of soccer fans to sign up for Intramural soccer. My skills have probably gotten a bit rusty (haven't played in a year and a half) but meh. They're actually regulation indoor games with two 22 minute halves with no games ending in ties (if there's a tie, it goes to penalty kicks--fun). I need to be distracted and have fun. If I manage to register, I'll need to go shoe shopping. My old pair or indoor shoes are a size and a half too small and the heel-part inside got indented (1/2 inch deep) by my orthopedics' heels :(

Hm.

Getting a hoodie for 14,25$ instead of 50$ is a good deal. Especially from the Bay.

Was talking with my brother in BC and he'd asked me if I had any of our other half-siblings' numbers. Numerous searches on the internets have turned up nothing. Really is stupid. It really is. I'm about 4hrs from my brother in BC, 5 from my brother in Texas (via plane) and 2hrs (via bus) from a sister whom I could've met as soon as I was a year old. I'm still furious at the fact that missed out on growing up with a sister especially when said sister lived on the same island as me and at one point, the same area of said island. (NDG is big, but it's not difficult to get around :/) Anyways, let's just say we're going to have to find 7 people who could be anywhere in the world at this time. Meh, if we can find the Doctor of the family he'll be able to understand whatever procedure occurs. Real worries right now are that a) Won't be able to find most of them and b) Many of them probably want nothing to do with dad. and c) Due to things I still don't know about, (with one thing I wish I hadn't learned about) there are perhaps many reasons why some of them would not want to come or care.

Reading this Intensive Care: A Support Guide for Families is informative yet slightly unrealistic at the same time. There's parts that are like those support guides that sound a bit "bouncy" and parts that don't and are serious without sounding grim. I'm a little surprised and disturbed at my blissful ignorance at what is going on. If I could classify it as "blissful ignorance" that is. Maybe more like ignorance. It's like I'm going along with my daily routines and forgetting that what's happened to dad is even going on. It's a little scary actually. Possibly because I can't or don't feel like talking about it since all I've said is a bunch of "Meh"s and "Aghbleh"s Not very deep but fairly self-explanatory. Damn the 2hr difference or I'd phone someone right now. :/

Anyway, on page 12, you're greeted with this picture of a 'patient' (more or less a sketch) with various tubes and such sticking out of him out of various places that are all named. It's all a bit gross.

Hmm. Well, the Intensive Care book did say that as a member of the family of the patient I should get some sleep as "Sleep is very important for good health..." Hm. True. Seems I'm failing at that bit right now it seems--whoops.

And dad is starting to be responsive again and such but I'm not all "whoop whoop" about it. Fairly skeptical is what.

Also, it seems that I have succumb to the classic "days are like a blur" feeling. I had no idea today was Saturday and I'm having extreme difficultly placing all the events (like phonecalls and such) in a proper timeline. I think one thing happen a day earlier when it had happened mere hours ago. Haven't felt like this since mum was sick.

Crazy stuff. Hey look, it's almost three. I should go.

አማላኬ (if you cant see that, install this self-extracting file from here)

Taking a break from being bitter

And because this post has lots too, you won't be able to tell that I wrote a long bitter, angry post yesterday. Le gasp.

Someone should keep me away from Loomis in Ottawa and it's Quebec counterpart Omar de Serres (It's huge, huge huge in Montréal. The store was packed on my two visits). Oh, oh, and Michael's too. I easily spend 29$+ at Loomis on art stuff, so many things I know I'll need and will get in the future and Michael's I need to stop buying yarn.

SOC 2511 is possibly going to be the class I'll love with content that I possibly won't enjoy judging from general comments (Methodology and Research Methods aka interpretation of data, qualifying it, presenting data, stats etc.). Even though 5 out of (judging by her class roster) 50+ students were there. I registered for a History class that I ended up missing because I was registering for it and I nearly mis-read the professor's name as St. Orange. So, 3 out of my 5 courses are in French. I like. (The other two are in English because...they're English classes) I'll figure out the Psychology thing, summer course seems like it's in order. Or, taking a 6th class (if possible) at Carleton or something.

Oh and I had a rare university student (or student in big university) moment earlier today on my way to buy my books. I ran into my SOC 1501 prof from last semester and I we (him and his socio-savvy profbuddies) were walking in opposite directions disscusing stuff and I thought "Meh, I'm at a big university and 1501 was a class with over 170+ students. No way will he recognize me. Nahh just nahhh---" but then I hear "Bonjour!" and I'm like "Ah! Bonjour professeur!". Very cool stuff.

8:30am class tomorrow, so far so good, I'm keeping my mind off of things. But I'm phoning mum's friend in a bit so whoo, bitterness may return! :O

PS. S0c 2511, we have to do presentations of research data (like of documents or stats) individually in front of the class. Ack et Gah. Oh and 2511 is the French version of 2111. Hm.

Firstly, I hate Calgary. I hate the city, I hate Global TV's somewhat discriminatory and, dare I say it, racist subsitute 11pm news anchors from Jan 1st (long story) and I simply hate the city so much that I just don't ever want to be there again, even if I was being offered a job with a 6-figure/per year salary. But, due to circumstances that shall be explained since few know of what happened, I will be back as soon as Reading Week, not for vacation but possibly to babysit.

Second, I failed Psych 1101. Not F, fail, but an E which isn't as bad as an F but it's bad. (A to D is pass. E is a "special" fail and an F is a flatout fail) But I saw that one coming. It was an elective and according to what my aunt dubs the "[Social Sciences] Bible", I can replace a failed elective by re-taking it or taking another elective and replacing it with that one. (Marks come out gradually--I have three more to find out about)

Third:
My dad was in a car crash/accident/whathaveyou on the 27th. He's been in hospital in the ICU since semi-conscious and not responding to commands given to him by doctors and nurses (though he had been but briefly) and basically, but not entirely, covered with IVs, tubes and with stitches on his forehead. His condition hasn't changed save for he developed pneumonia and he has a breathing tube but now it'll be one via tracheotomy or however you spell it. As you can guess, I spent the break, stressed, stressed, sick due to stress and not being able to eat due to sickness for two days, stressed, worried and generally feeling all kinds of bad. Of course, I stayed at my mum's friend's house.

No, he is not in a coma. I don't feel like typing up all the list of what's wrong with him and I'm not up for being on MSN this week. Phoning or emailing me works wonders. Or Skype since I (shock) have my headset device. D:

So, all in all, I hate Calgary, I hate Calgary, I hate Calgary and I never ever want to go back there again. (Perhaps I will go to Vancouver, maybe stop in Calgary for your guys' grad but I never want to go back ever again. The city hates me, and I hate the city. Then again, what with me suddenly having to be like most of my peers' parents, I'll likely have to make semi-regular visits to take care of him if/when he gets home which won't be this week or the next or possibly the one after that)


Did I mention I hate Calgary?


I have classes tomorrow morning. To bed. Maybe. Wheee, I am angry, M is for drugs as I shall read Ansem Retort in all it's crack glory.

edit I did little "spending time with friends" btw. Hm. I'll have Socio tomorrow morning and not be a big ball of anger D:

edit 2 (Jan4, 10:55am) admittedly I'm mostly bitter, but er, looking back at what I wrote last night, that was really "YARRRHATE" and such. Huh.