oh hey, 301 posts

With the way things have been going as of late and the billion decisions I have to take and things that are popping up, I'm very surprised I didn't just drop everything and take a leave of absence from University.

Luckily I have my super-experienced psychotherapist aunt to question the Social Worker and translate everything going on into simple English. Because frankly, I cannot make decisions. She also has experience in this matter and shall be questioning the doctor/nurse about tests that have (or likely haven't as it seems to be--seriously, a black man in a white hospital with no one to advocate for him. Do you think they'll be pulling out all stops to make sure he gets the best care? Asks me, who is le frazzled) been done.

However, this doesn't help me finish my essay due later today to be handed in between 12:00 and 1:30pm that I only have a quarter finished. Actually, barely a page has been started.

For those even remotely curious who number in only 1 here (2 elsewhere) about what's going on, dad's condition seems non-changing and he'll be off to a long-term care facility and will be there for the foreseeable future.

Actually, you know what, I'll give out more details even though no one has been asking for them;

He's suffering from short term memory loss that's been going on since he regained proper consciousness in February along with possible other medical stuff I don't know of. He doesn't remember who some people are and thinks that some people are other people. For example, he mistook someone's daughter (3 years younger) as being me.

He's extremely confused and has no sense of time and still thinks that I'm in Calgary regardless of the number of times I've told him along with others. He also can't talk coherently sometimes and slips into Amharic lots.

In other words,

For the forseable future, I don't think he'll go back to the way he was before all of this happened in December. I want to deny it and think that all will go back to the way it was but I can't see that happening unless the liquid in his brain gets reabsorbed (or something my aunt mentioned) and he's back to normal within the month.

I wish my niece could've met dad before all this--she would've had the greatest and funnest grandad ever. She'd've been spoiled silly and treated to so many things by him.

I still have to tell others what's happened to him. His former co-workers know nothing, some in Montréal know but none of mum's friends yet.

You know, it's almost like I'm really 40+ but I'm trapped in the body of a 20-yr old.

Also, a message to the general 'all of you',
Next person to tell me "I'm lucky" to go back to Calgary will get a very long talk. I never liked it there and I never ever want to go back. Try to tell me otherwise, and you will get an even longer talk.

And yes, this was my emo-angry post. Hurrah. If only I could type essays out this fast, I'd be set for bed right about now.

My soccer bag sits in my closet doing nothing...

Oh wow...did I not use my soccer stuff nor play soccer. I have put on my gloves in the hopes that I would go.

And here I am about to submit a volunteer form to volunteer at the FIFA U-20 World Cup of Soccer. Oh well, I still love the sport and I still want to play; maybe there'll be a chance to play pickup on campus in front of Tabaret. :o

Hm.

oh, ko'd again

hm.

Now if it weren't 8:46, I'd think of an excuse to go and walk about in the rain with my umbrella. But I'm tired and I want to go to Michaels and splurge on t-shirts, pencil crayons, drawing paper and other such art supplies as there's a 40% off sale I'd like to go take advantage of.

Other than that,

ouch.

Life ko'ed me again. Always fun.

Oh dear, English essay is about semi-started (finally). It's on the topic of violence in soccer and my intro isn't too bad D:. I'm hoping that I'll be able to have it done with quotes and sources and such by tomorrow night or Monday morning so that I can go over to a friend's place to watch Doctor Who later in the afternoon.

And while I'm here at the library typing, being distracted etc., I think I seem to have developped a cold. My throat feels funny and my nose is a bit sniffly. (Rats...I was doing so good this semester too...save for that week where I had a migraine every evening--but still!) I'm not liking that I've been starting to feel relaxed despite the fact that I have an essay to do. (Or maybe that's due in part to the fact that I'm possibly becoming sick; waking up has been harder to do than usual...)

Oh well, thanks to Mike's post, I've re-found the Star Académie song "Et c'est pas fini" that I lost from when I had unexpectedly reformatted my laptop back in September and as a result, created a French music playlist and am listening to it.

Back to work I suppose.

Life just delivered me an upper-cut.

Ow. :X

If some words could describe how I feel...

...it would be:

TABARNAC!!

Honestly, I'm going nuts and have become the hated yet again. (Well, it's not like the "renewed" friendship was going to last; I found it way too suspicious to begin with coming from those people) Wheee life is fun. Crazy and fun. Fun, crazy, and mind-numbingly stressful and worrysomly fun and crazier than I ever thought it was. Yay.

Of course, this is all due to the fact that I've been stuffing all the current issues popping up like weeds with my dad's health and care on the back burner for the last month while I attempt to keep a straight face and work throughout this semester.

You know, if I wasn't a peaceful, non-argumentative person I would've given too many people a piece of my mind and perhaps would've stood up for myself and not let myself get walked all over like I did in some classes. I probably would've also mentioned to some people I work with what's going on so they can understand my "tardiness" and my lacking in the finishing parts of projects promptly department as of late.

But no, I can't bring myself to hurt or yell at anyone.(which is a nice quality to have admittedly--I've done enough yelling to last a century) I have a presentation tomorrow and I feel asdfghjkl and then some. It's not helping that I might send an email that might land me even more on some peoples' bad sides. Crazy stuff, life.

Humdeedoo.

I suppose the good thing is, I have Lyon to look forward to in a month and I may never see these persons again or work with them for the next 3 years (unless we land in the same classes which would be likely considering my minor)

I need a weekend in Montréal. Stat.